Some singles are too introverted to get out there and find love. Some use excuses like being too old, too fat, too poor to find love. No more excuses. Find out why nothing can stop love from finding you.
Even if you hate dead-end dating, even if you’re afraid of rejection, or you’ve got flaws as big as a Buick, or you never want to leave home, find out how love will find you, no matter what. And that usually happens within a month from when you start taking the steps you’re about to discover in highlights of my radio conversation for A Lasting Love with Kathryn Alice.
Kathryn is a popular relationship and crisis management coach who wrote the book, Love Will Find You. It’s the true antidote to all the strict rules-oriented dating books out there.
Hadley: When my long, happy marriage ended tragically, I was afraid I’d never find love again. My divorce lawyer tried to cheer me up by saying , “Love will find you, even if you live in an isolated igloo.” That’s not conventional dating wisdom, yet it is the foundation of your book, Love Will Find You. Tell us why no obstacles can prevent your great love from finding you.
Kathryn: I believe some of us are born to have love, a great love. The way you can tell this is if you want it. If you have a burning to desire to find love before you accomplish your life purpose, you will get love. In my hometown we say, “There’s a lid for every pot.” So everyone gets love, if you want it. No matter what.
Hadley: Some men and women believe they have big flaws that make them unlovable. Let’s help them discard that faulty belief.
Kathryn: I call this the fatal flaw. It’s so common that people think they have something that will send someone screaming from the room. Mostly it’s something you wouldn’t notice. I’m not sure where they get this idea. If you think about it, past loves have loved you despite whatever you think is wrong with you. In fact your great love will find it endearing because it makes you vulnerable and more loveable. So you need to re-frame what you’re telling yourself about the reason nobody can love you.
Hadley: Tell us how we re-frame a flaw.
Kathryn: I worked with a woman who was very blunt and always said what she was thinking. Her friends told her to tone it down, because she was coming on too strong. They told her she had to be gentler and softer to find love. Her dates backed that up, because until you get a grasp on your fatal flaw you will attract people who will criticize it.
She felt she had to change something about herself to find love. We worked on seeing her bluntness as a plus, because she wasn’t being fake or pretending to be someone she wasn’t. Soon she met a man whose first wife just left him without ever saying why, and he was devastated. And he loved being with a woman who always told him what was on her mind, without ever being secretive like his former wife. Because he could trust her honesty, and she always said she adored him, which was the truth, they ended up getting married. He loves that he always knows where he stands with her.
Hadley: This is a sign that earlier she had been with incompatible matches, because they didn’t appreciate her blunt honesty. This supports the idea that there is no rejection, only incompatible matches. Each time there’s no mutual click, each time you sort through a mismatch, you move closer to meeting your great love match who will appreciate all of your qualities.
Kathryn: I agree that there’s no rejection, only a wrong fit. You take any hurt out of a breakup when you remember that.
Hadley: In your book, you describe 9 love magnets that you used to attract your wonderful husband. Tell us the top love magnet we can use to attract a great love, despite any perceived flaws or excuses that stop us from dating.
Kathryn: One of the biggies is to believe your great love is out there for you. Even if it’s been years since you’ve dated, you believe there is someone wonderful earmarked just for you. And no one else gets them. No matter how hot they are, they cannot see past you. Even if it’s been years since you’ve dated, even if you’re an introvert who never leaves your house, your great love will have a crash by your house or end up on your doorstep to meet you somehow.
Hadley: I often say that the great love you are seeking is seeking you. I suggest you get out there to find each other in our singles events and in our dating site–where great singles find great love as I guide your love quest with dating advice like this and help you choose your great love match.
What other love magnets did Kathryn Alice use to attract her great love match, that you can use, too?
Find out in Part Two highlights of my radio interview with Kathryn Alice. Or listen to our entire conversation here:
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